In Another Life: Guilty Hearts
by Akatsuki Shin
Summary: [First Story of "In Another Life" Series, Adult!Yagen x Souza] Under the alias "Canary", Souza Samonji had been secretly working as a prostitute to support the financial of his family. A strange request came for him one night, and when he arrived at the designated meeting place, he was made to meet someone from the past he had long forgotten.
1. Chapter 1

_"Do you, too, wish to rule all that is under Heaven?"_

"I hope to get along with you."

 _"Is it alright…to let a caged bird go outside?"_

"Take me along if you're worried. I will not become a hindrance."

 _"Closing my eyes, a dream of flames… I…"_

"Whatever comes, I will protect you."

 ** _"Burnt twice, and reforged again. But there is no next time. Ahh… At long last, freedom…"_**

* * *

The lavish bed creaked ever so slightly as one of the two occupants attempted to rise without making a sound. Squirming away from under the blanket, a pair of slender legs eventually managed to step on the floor which was covered in expensive carpet. It was the figure of a young man, with a flawless porcelain-like skin covering the delicate build of his body, far from similar to those of most grown men out there. His heterochromatic eyes – one green and the other blue – glanced back towards the other occupant of the bed; a middle-aged man whose name he didn't remember and didn't want to remember, snoring in his sleep.

 _"It should be okay now…right?"_

After ensuring that the older man was not disturbed by his movement, the slender figure quickly dressed up and gathered his belongings scattered all over the luxurious bedroom. Several sheets of cash were left on the table next to their bed, and the young man shoved them into the pocket of his coat without even looking twice, let alone counting the amount. He just wanted to leave this nauseating place as soon as possible. Tip-toeing on the soft surface, he slipped through the door with much care as not to produce any noise and finally, he broke into a run once he reached the corridor.

The weather was cold outside when he stepped out of the five-star hotel's lobby that the young man couldn't help but shiver; his long, pink-colored hair fluttering when the chilling wind breezed past him. When he took out his cell phone, the display showed that it was already three in the morning. Nevertheless, there were still people pacing around the streets of this never-sleeping part of the town and the young man was always thankful because in this place, everyone was minding their own business, so nobody would pay attention to him even when he rushed past them all in hurried steps. The last thing he wanted was to be called out by one of them and was taken to another place where the nightmare would continue.

 _"The messages have also stopped coming."_

Tightening his coat to protect his trembling shoulders, the young man held his cell phone tight and did not slow down until he reached a large junction where he took a left turn. Up ahead were considerably less people compared to before since he was entering a residential area, and a modest apartment building stood firmly not far from there.

That was where he was heading to.

Climbing the rusty staircase to the third floor, he approached one of the doors lining on the hallway and abruptly inserted his key, opening it with a faint " _click_ " before locking it back once he reached inside. It was dark in that apartment; none of the lights were lit as if in harmony with the complete silence enshrouding the entire place. Yet the young man had grown too familiar of the place that he required no light to find his way.

First he walked towards the living room and to another door next to it. When he peeked inside, he saw a blue-haired boy sleeping soundly on a humble _futon_ , seemingly not aware of his return. He exhaled a sigh of relief as a faint smile was drawn on his pale face. Kneeling by the bedside, he casted a loving gaze at the boy and slowly held out his hand. However, right before the tips of his fingers could touch those strands of soft blue hair, he came into a stop; the smile soon disappeared from his face. With his previously gentle expression now clouded in what seemed to be sadness and guilt, he rose to his feet and returned to the living room, rushing for another door that led to a larger bedroom.

Without a care of his surroundings, he proceeded to the bathroom, undressing himself and throwing the clothes away all over the floor. His trembling fingers reached out to the faucet of the shower, and when warm water began to drench him from head to toe, he started scrubbing on his skin furiously as if possessed. He poured soap on it, scrubbed, and repeated the same action over and over again. While he was doing this, a translucent liquid dripped down between his legs and his expression turned stiff at once.

"Tch…"

He cleaned that part with a disgusted face, but it appeared that there were more than he expected. He kept cleaning himself on that certain area while biting his lower lip, but eventually he grew tired of it and threw himself down to the floor, hugging both of his knees with his back pressed against the cold wall.

Amidst the drops of water still falling onto him, a faint sniffle escaped his breathing.

"…Stupid. Don't cry…"

With a feeble voice, he reprimanded himself. However, instead of producing a calming effect he was hoping for, his chest felt even tighter and more of those sniffles broke out. It did not take long until they turned into weeping, and the young man could no longer retain himself; his shoulders shaking from the cries he was struggling to hold back.

And just like that, he remained curling on the floor until weariness stopped the tears falling from his eyes.

* * *

"… _Nii-san_ … Good morning…"

A small voice reached Souza's ears as he was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. When he turned his gaze, the sight of a blue-haired boy still in pajamas caught his attention and a gentle smile immediately rose to his face.

"Good morning, Sayo," he casted a kind look at his younger brother, returning his greeting, "Did you sleep well?"

"I did…" the boy nodded, rubbing his eyes.

"That's good," a soft laugh escaped Souza's lips, "Go wash your face and brush your teeth. We'll be having breakfast soon, okay?"

"Okay…"

The blue-haired boy obediently listened and walked to the bathroom. In the meantime, Souza continued with the preparation of breakfast, arranging the plates and glasses on the table until his little brother returned. They sat facing each other, conveying their gratitude for the food. It was just a simple menu of milk and toast, but they were thankful for what they had now. At the very least, they would not start the beginning of a new day on empty stomach.

"Have you finished all your homework? If I'm not mistaken, you said before that you will have a test today, right?"

"I have," while munching on his bread, Sayo replied with a nod, "For the test, it is Physical Education, so…"

"Oh? Then I'm sure you will be fine. Sayo is always good at PE, aren't you?"

"I'm… I'm not that good…" despite his seemingly monotonous voice, the blue-haired boy looked down; his cheeks beginning to turn red from embarrassment. At this sight, his older brother could not help but held back laughter as they continued their peaceful morning.

"All set? Are you sure you didn't forget anything?" asked Souza when the younger one was finally about to leave for school. Even though he still looked rather sleepy a few minutes ago, now the boy was already neatly dressed in uniform.

"No, I didn't forget anything," Sayo shook his had.

"Good. Well then, here's your lunch box. Be careful on your way."

"I will," replied the boy again. However, instead of leaving he stared at Souza's face for awhile, confusing his older brother before he finally opened his mouth again, "Nii-san, your eyes are red. Were you busy last night?"

"Eh?" taken aback by the sudden question, Souza lifted his hand to touch the edge of his eye unconsciously, but then he shrugged his shoulders and smiled again, "Yes, unfortunately. Does it really show though?"

"It does…"

"…It does, huh?"

Even though it looked like he did not sugarcoat his words, Souza knew what the boy meant. He was not good with words, but Sayo was a really sweet boy at heart and sometimes he thought he couldn't be more grateful to have a little brother like him.

"I will be okay if I get some rest later," the pink hair said again, "Now stop worrying about me and hurry up or you might be late."

"Okay… Then, I'm going."

"Take care."

Soon, that small figure disappeared beyond the door. Souza waited until the sound of his brothers footsteps faded away before he finally released the long sigh he'd been holding. At the same time, the smile vanished from his face and in its place, a weary look clouded his expression.

 _["Were you busy last night?"]_

"Busy…huh…?" he mumbled to himself, "Indeed, I was busy."

Letting out a sigh once again, he turned on his heels and walked back into the apartment. Just like the outer appearance of the entire building, the inside was equally modest. The living room was also used as a dining room. There was a kitchen and two bedrooms; one bigger with a bathroom inside while the other was smaller. The overall size of their apartment could be considered narrow, not to mention that the building itself was already quite old to begin with. However, since there were only two people living there, the size didn't become a big problem. It was already good enough that they weren't homeless.

And now that his brother had left, it was time for Souza to do the chores. Despite this activity being an exhausting daily routine, there were actually not much to take care of. Again, there were only the two of them living there and cleaning such a small apartment would not take a lot of time. Sometimes he thought that him feeling tired was never caused by the chores at all. After all, he hadn't slept at all for the entire night.

 _"…Pointless thoughts… I should've been concentrating on the work at hand instead of slowing down my pace."_

At this thought, suddenly he could feel something buzzing in his pocket. Obviously, it was no other than his cell phone, but even though he knew this very well, his face was clouded with doubt. Nevertheless, in the end he took the small device out and the moment he saw the name written on the display, his face brightened all of a sudden.

"Hello?" he quickly answered.

"Good evening, Souza. Ah, but it's morning on your side, isn't it?" a familiar voice gently greeted him from the other end.

" _Aniki_ , it's been awhile. How are you?" with a genuine smile rising to his thin lips, he returned the greeting happily. It turned out that the one who was calling was none other than their eldest brother, Kousetsu Samonji.

"I am fine. I apologize that I haven't been able to call lately, but my assignment here proceeds without problem, so it seems that I will be able to return next month," replied his brother. Even though they were separated by great distance, from the tone of his voice Souza could imagine the other man smiling in relief as he was conveying the good news. To this thought, he couldn't help but smile, as well.

"That is wonderful. If only Sayo hadn't gone to school, he would've been delighted to hear this. We haven't seen each other for more than a year, after all," Souza said.

"Indeed. But we could also keep it a secret and surprise him later," his brother's soft laughter was brought to him from the speaker, "How are you guys doing over there?"

"We are good. Sayo is doing very well at school and he no longer has problems in making friends. Recently, he represented his class in a marathon for the school's sport festival and he finished first place."

"I see that he's grown up to be a strong and healthy boy. You must've taken really good care of him," said Kousetsu proudly. At the same time, however, his kind voice was also painted with concern as he continued. "And what about you, Souza? Are you still working in the bar that you told me before?"

For a moment, Souza was at loss of words; the hand that was holding the cell phone trembled slightly. Even though no one was there to see him, he hung his head down, biting at his lower lip before answering his brother's question.

"…Yes, I'm still working there," he said.

"I see… It must be tough on you, taking care of Sayo during the day and working at night. If only I could earn a little bit more—"

"It's alright, Aniki. You've been working hard enough. I couldn't just sit still and watch while you're the only one struggling for us," shaking his head, Souza quickly dismissed his brother's remark, "Besides, I get to rest when Sayo's at school. It's just that my working schedule is different to most people."

"If you say so…" still in a regretful tone, his brother replied, "Then, I shouldn't waste anymore of your precious sleeping time. You should quickly turn in and rest your body."

"…I understand."

"Sleep well, Souza."

"Thank you, Aniki. I hope to see you soon."

After a bit more exchange of words, the call ended. For the second time today, Souza let out a long sigh, staring at the now turned-off display of his cell phone. It had been awhile since he last saw his brother. Being the eldest son, Kousetsu took up the responsibility to support the entire family after their parents passed away. But still, although he'd been working so hard to the point of accepting jobs that required him to be sent overseas every now and then, his earning was barely enough to cover the expenses of the household, even if there were only the three of them living in a modest apartment.

" _I'm sorry, Aniki…_ "

A prick of guilt beginning to tear at his heart as Souza held the small device close to his chest. Indeed, he'd told Kousetsu and Sayo that he was working at a bar every night, but of course it was a lie. He simply couldn't bring himself to tell them the truth, to tell his brothers that all this time he had been selling himself to other men at night, just so he could get a bit more earning for their daily needs.

" _If they ever found out about this, I…"_

Just like that, he shoved the phone back into his pocket, ignoring he small blinking light that was supposed to be a sign that he had unread messages in his inbox.

* * *

Another night soon fell upon the city. Replacing the sun were countless lights coming from the streets and buildings; humans and cars alike flooding the roads. For most people, it was time to return back home and rest, but for others it was the start of a new day of work, particularly for those who made their fortune from the night life of the city.

Dressed in a knee-length coat and dark-colored trousers, Souza hastened his pace amongst the crowds flooding the street, being careful not to bump into people lest his slender built would be easily swept away by the scurrying flocks around him. His destination, as always, was one of the brothels providing their service in the red-light district. The outer appearances looked equally flashy as those buildings stood side by side and across each other, but if one were already familiar with the area, the place where Souza was working was actually quite popular. The patrons could either rent one of the rooms provided in the brothel, or they could also asked the prostitute of their choice to meet up at other place for a date, usually at bars, restaurants or hotels.

And even though this wasn't something one could brag about, the brothel he was working in had a lot of high class patrons, some of them were actually regulars of his.

" _Canary_ , is that you?"

Calling the nickname he'd been using for work, the manager's voice reached out to him as soon as he entered the back chamber functioning as the dressing room. As his heterochromatic eyes quickly sweeping the entire place, the pink hair saw several of his colleagues in the middle of preparing themselves. Naturally, since the brothel would be opened soon, and among them he found the owner of the voice who called to him just now.

"Yes, it's me. Good evening, Manager," he bowed while conveying his greeting, "How can I help you?"

"Actually a request for you just came to us and the customer already paid in full. I know you've just arrived, but he wanted you to accompany him for a dinner, so you'd have to go out again," the manager explained briefly, pulling out a piece of paper from his breast pocket, "Here's the address. He said he will be waiting for you in the lobby."

"I… I see…" stammering due to the sudden task he was given upon arrival, Souza accepted the paper handed to him. On the white surface was printed the details of order made by the said customer and indeed, in the description it was stated that his arrival was to be expected in a certain restaurant.

"Do you know how to get there?" asked the manager again.

"Y-Yes, I've been there before," the pink hair replied, recalling one occasion when a customer also brought him there for dinner. It was a famous five-star restaurant in town where only the wealthy could afford; a lot of their regulars were celebrities and very successful businessmen.

"Good. Then quickly change into decent clothes. No matter how pretty you look, they won't let you in with your current outfit."

Despite the rather sharp tone of his superior, Souza understood very well what he meant. Of course, he couldn't just stroll into such luxurious place wearing his old coat and jeans. Instead, he felt more uncomfortable upon noticing the jealous gazes thrown at him by his other colleagues in the dressing room.

" _It's not like I'm doing this because I want to._ "

Perhaps it actually was a good thing that the request made him needed to go out. Attempting to ignore the unpleasing silence, he immediately changed his clothes and left the place, once again finding himself standing amongst the crowds in the bustling street. The restaurant itself was approximately 20 minutes' walk from where he was, and considering that he still had enough time, Souza turned on his heels and began to make his way towards the meeting place.

" _I should probably read the order again just in case_ …" he thought while taking out the folded paper he'd previously tucked into his bag., running his eyes over the text printed on it, " _Atsushi Toushirou, 28 years old. Huh… He's only a few years older than me. 'Please call this number if you have arrived at the lobby'. Well, now that's strange… Usually you wouldn't give out your number that easily to brothels or dating services._ "

As he pondered on about the singularity of his customer today, a skyscraper eventually came within his sight a small distance away. If he remembered correctly, the restaurant was located on the top-most floor with enormous windows that allowed the guests to enjoy the view of the entire city. Putting the prostitution business aside, when he was brought there for the first time by his previous customer, he was actually mesmerized by the fantastic view he'd never dreamt of seeing.

" _…What was I thinking?_ "

Souza shook his head, dismissing the absurd thought of feeling grateful that a customer had brought him to such a place. Now that he'd reached the designated location, he took out his cell phone and turned it on. As usual, there were tons of unread messages invading his inbox, but he ignored them and called the number written in the order details as instructed. There was a brief dial tune until he heard someone answering from the other end of the line.

"Yes?" the voice of a man, low and firm, reached his ears.

"Good evening. This is Canary from 'Red Carnation'. I have arrived at the lobby," replied him, using a polite tone as he'd always done whenever talking to his patrons. Truthfully, it felt like his stomach was churning whenever he had to talk in such a nice way to these men when his heart and mind were in total opposition, but he had no other choice. No matter what, this was business and he had to be professional about it lest he'd lost all of his patrons.

"We understand. Then, please come up to Room #2015 on the 20th floor. We'll be expecting your arrival soon."

The call was cut off just like that. For a brief moment, Souza was dumbfounded, standing still as though his feet were nailed to the floor. He'd met all sort of weird people as customers, but so far this was the most peculiar of all. In the first place, why was that person using such business-like manners and what did he mean "we"?

" _Were there actually more than one customer?_ "

Nevertheless, despite how suspicious it sounded, he couldn't simply back down and leave when there wasn't any definite proof. No matter how uncomfortable he had begun to feel, there was no other choice for Souza but to do as told for the time being. Thus, he proceeded up by the elevator towards the said floor and soon, found himself standing before dozens of doors lining in the lavish corridor.

"Excuse me," he called after knocking on a door with "#2015" engraved on the plate. There was a faint sound of footsteps coming from the other side and the door then swung open, revealing a tall young man with short black hair whose light-colored eyes stared at him in silence. The obvious difference in their posture was enough to make Souza gulped, but he quickly regained his composure and bowed while conveying his greeting. "Good evening. I'm Canary from 'Red Carnation'. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"…Yeah. I'm Atsushi Toushirou. Nice to—"

" _Ne_ , is it him? Is he here already?" the man's words were cut off by a light voice casually coming behind his back. Another person popped out from inside the room, a feminine looking man around the same age as the first one with long blond hair. If it wasn't for the Adam's apple slightly protruding on the surface of his throat, Souza might've mistaken him for a woman.

"Umm… Good… Good evening," once again, Souza repeated his greeting, but was blatantly ignored. Wearing a cheerful yet mischievous smile on his pretty face, the blond stared at Souza from head to toe with his bright blue eyes before clapping his hands as though in both amazement and satisfaction.

"As I thought, it's him! He really hasn't changed in the slightest bit since back then. That's great, isn't it, Atsushi?" he smiled happily while nudging at the taller man.

"Yeah, that's great. Thank you very much for using my name and number without permission to contact the brothel, Midare," the one called Atsushi replied with a clearly annoyed voice. However, he soon turned back towards Souza upon noticing the confusion written all over the face of his guest. "Ah, sorry about that. As I was saying, I'm Atsushi Toushirou and this is my brother, Midare. Please come in."

"Y…es… Pardon the intrusion…"

As the outer appearance suggest, indeed the entire building was mainly functioning as a hotel, a luxurious one on top of that. The room he'd stepped into seemed to be one of the most expensive rooms provided by the hotel, considering the spacious yet elegant interior with top quality furniture. The view from this floor was also marvelous, but with these self-proclaimed brothers bickering endlessly next to him, the thought of admiring the town's scenery didn't even cross his mind. It was as if his presence there was mere decorations. Thus, he decided to stand still and waited until the two men eventually stopped on their own and came to him.

"Say, you said your name is Canary, right?" asked the one called Midare while throwing him a scrutinizing look.

"…? Yes, I that is correct. Is something the matter, Toushirou-san?" the pink hair replied, tilting his head in confusion.

"Like, really the real Canary?"

"Yes," once again Souza repeated his answer. Just a few minutes ago, this person was saying things like he didn't change in the slightest bit with a delighted face. That was already very weird, and why was he questioning about his identity now?

"Rather than worrying about that, we should stop wasting time. Hirano said they're already five minutes away from here," Atsushi, whose name was listed as the customer who placed a request for him, sighed while throwing his brother a tired look, "Besides, I doubt there will be any other person in this world with that kind of appearance."

"Well, you're right…" once again, a mischievous smile pulled up the corners of Midare's lips as he casted a meaningful glance towards the pink hair. With light steps, he walked around Souza and whispered in a delighted voice. "Don't struggle too much, okay~?"

"What do you— Mmph?!"

Not even a second afterwards, his mouth was muffled by what seemed to be a large handkerchief. When he was just about to try to break free, the black hair caught his hands in an instant and had them tied together in the wrists. He hadn't even gotten over the shock when they suddenly hauled him to the bedroom, thrown him on the bed and tied his legs, too.

"Mmmph! Nnngh?!"

"Easy there. We're not gonna hurt you, see?" said Midare with an innocent smile, so unbefitting of what he was doing.

Even when he said they weren't going to hurt him, it was nearly impossible to believe with the way the all ganged up on him like this as if making him a hostage. Despite the lots of people with weird taste who'd become his customers, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Souza felt extremely scared at the moment. How could he not? He had no idea what these people's intentions were. But as though ignoring the obvious distress coming from him, the blond simply looked back and threw his brother a question.

"By the way, is it really okay not to tell him about what this guy's doing?" he asked; a slight doubt hanging in his voice.

"We were only helping to get them back together. Beyond that will be their own personal problems, so it's none of our business," replied the black hair. Shortly afterwards, the sound of door unlocking faintly echoed from the direction of the living room. Looking over his shoulder, Atsushi stood straight at once as he muttered. "He's here."

"Already? Alright then, we'll take our leave and give you two a private time together. Bye-bye~"

Following his brother, the blond smiled once again at Souza and waved his hand before leaving the room. Now left all by himself – bound and gagged on the bed – he grew even more panicked when the sound of a single footstep, different from the other two, grew louder towards where he was. To no avail, he kept squirming on the bed in hope that either his hands or legs could break free.

However, before his efforts could bear any fruit, the shadow of another man appeared by the opened door.

"Mmnngh! Mmmph!"

" _Don't come here!_ "

He was almost at the brink of tears as he tried to yell in vain, more so upon realizing the man taking long strides to the bedside. Shaking his head furiously, he didn't even realize that the cloth covering his mouth was being removed, followed by the ones binding his wrists and legs. The moment freedom had returned to his body, he immediately scrambled back without even bothering to look at the person standing right in front of him.

"Calm down. Are you okay?" the man asked in a composed, heavy voice.

"S-Stay away!"

"It's alright. It's alright already. Please calm down…" again, the man attempted to soothe him with a gentle voice. Souza shut his eyes tight when he felt the other's presence drawing close, holding out one hand to caress the side of his face. He should've been accustomed to being touched by others like this, but the recent treatment seemed to have left him in quite a shock.

Nevertheless, the next words he heard were enough to blow all thoughts away from his mind.

"Souza…" the voice called, "Souza Samonji… Finally I found you."

To this unexpected remark, the pink hair slowly opened his eyes and for the first time since this man entered the room, at last he had a good look at the other's appearance. A pair of grayish purple eyes, jet black hair framing the especially striking face of his… This man was young, perhaps around the same age as the two who had just left which would mean he was only a few years older than him, but from the way he dressed himself, Souza could immediately tell that he must be a very successful person like one of those young executives.

"…? How…do you know me?" in a small voice, the pink hair eventually opened his mouth, "I'm… I'm Souza Samonji, but… Who might you be?"

The man seemed to be taken aback at first, but then the corners of his lips were then pulled into a smile as he lowered his gaze. He might've been imagining things, but Souza thought that the man's smile looked rather sad.

"Do you not remember me, Souza?" he asked, in which the pink hair responded to by shaking his head. Still wearing the same smile, the man let out a sigh while rising to his feet. "Well, if you don't remember, I suppose it can't be helped. I will have to do this again from the beginning."

As he said this, the man bent down his tall body and took his hand. Gently, he kissed the back of Souza's hand, lifting his face in such a way afterwards that he was gazing into those pair of heterochromatic spheres from below.

"Yagen Toushirou. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

And at that moment, Souza felt a surge of memories came crashing onto him. One by one, faces and voices flashed in the back of his mind until the figure of a certain person eventually dominated the chaotic flow of thoughts inside him. He recalled it… Straight jet black hair, a mature voice hiding in a small built and a pair of sharp grayish purple eyes…

"…Ya…gen…"

However, the moment his lips uttered that single name, an excruciating pain robbed him off the memories he recalled all of a sudden. As if his head was about to be split in two, Souza fell onto the soft surface of the bed when complete darkness claimed his consciousness away.


	2. Chapter 2

_"So we meet again…"_

 _Stepping out of the blacksmith's workshop where his new body was born, the Uchigatana was greeted a young boy dressed in black standing outside as though waiting for him. Even though they no longer retained their original forms, for some reason he recognized the small figure of a Tantou now gazing at him with a confident smile._

 _"…It's you…"_

 _"Yes, it's me," the boy took a step closer towards him, "Though, just like before I still look much smaller than you."_

 _"You look fine the way you are," with a subtle smile drawn on his face, the Uchigatana shook his head. To his words, the black Tantou simply laughed._

 _"If you say so, then I have nothing to complain," he said, shrugging his shoulders._

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"No…" this time, it was the boy's turn to shake his head, "I simply thought that in this form, you look even more beautiful than before."_

 _To these words, the smile on the newly forged Uchigatana vanished. Though he was happy to receive such compliment, when he recalled how his previous Masters had taken away his freedom by using his beauty as an excuse…_

 _"…Do you, too, wish to rule all that is under heaven?"_

 _The Tantou's grayish purple eyes went wide. For a moment, the Uchigatana was afraid he might have offended the feeling of his long-known comrade, but to his surprise, the boy simply laughed once again and casted him a gentle look._

 _"I hope to get along with you."_

* * *

"…-san… Nii-san?"

"…?! Ah, sorry. What is it, Sayo?"

"Are you…alright?" despite his monotonous voice, Sayo stared at his older brother in both curiosity and worry. Souza, on the other hand, looked as though he had just been splashed awake with cold water. His heterochromatic eyes returned his little brother's gaze in confusion.

"No, no, I'm alright. Sorry," the pink hair smiled apologetically, scratching the side of his face with the tip of his index finger, "What was it that you were trying to say?"

"I… I was just wondering if it would be alright if I stay over at a friend's place tonight," casting his gaze down as if he was being scolded, the blue-haired boy answered in a small voice, "Imanotsurugi invited me to play at his house yesterday, but I haven't had the chance to ask you."

"Imanotsurugi-kun? Of course, it's alright. This is the weekend, after all," surprised at how simple his brother's request actually was, Souza couldn't help but smile, "But be sure not to cause him too much trouble, okay?"

"Okay…"

"Then that's fine," he gave the boy a pat on the head, "Do you need me to take you there?"

"I will be fine. Nii-san…should rest. This is the weekend after all…" repeating the words he'd just said not even a minute ago, Sayo's blue eyes casted a meaningful look at his older brother, in which Souza responded to with a chuckle.

"You're right…" he sighed, "I will help you prepare your clothes at the very least."

"Actually, I have…"

"Huh?" not understanding the meaning of those words, Souza's eyes followed the direction which his brother was looking at and found the boy's bag lying on the floor. From the way it bulged from the inside, there was no mistaking that Sayo had packed everything he needed in it. "…You really were planning to go even before I said yes, weren't you?"

"Sorry…"

"Nah, it's alright," the pink hair shrugged and smiled once again, "I'll see you off."

When Souza had just stood up from his seat, all of a sudden the bell rang, signaling that they were having a guest. Throwing each other a look of confusion, the two brothers hastened their steps and were soon taken aback upon seeing the figure standing beyond the door.

"Yo, it's me."

"Yagen?!"

It was no other than the person whom Souza met, or rather, was "tricked" into meeting only several nights ago. Now dressed in a casual outfit, Yagen's tall figure looked brighter and fresh compared to the mature appearance he had when he was donned in his formal outfit before.

"Why were you so surprised? I did message you, saying that I'll be coming over," the black hair replied, slightly furrowing his brows.

"Oh… Sorry, I… I didn't see it…"suddenly struck with guilt, Souza looked down unconsciously.

"No worries. It was a sudden plan, so I won't blame you," said their guest with a casual smile. His grayish purple eyes were then drawn to the small figure standing next to the pink hair. "Oh? Sayo Samonji, right? It's been a long time. You, too, didn't change at all."

At first, Souza was worried at the sudden remark of nostalgia being thrown at his little brother. However, before he could say anything, the blue-haired boy simply nodded calmly.

"You also didn't change, Yagen-kun. But you do look bigger than before," Sayo said with straight face.

"Wh— Sayo, you—?!"

"Huh… So you still remember me. That's great," Yagen laughed happily while patting the boy on the shoulder, pushing aside Souza's obvious surprise. Sayo, on the other hand, shifted his gaze to his older brother with an apologetic look.

"Sorry, Nii-san…" he muttered, "You seemed like you didn't remember, so I kept quiet."

"But— Why? How? Since when?"

"It's alright, isn't it, Souza? No need to panic," stopping his burst of question, Yagen chuckled and smiled at him before looking back at the boy, "By the way, Sayo… Are you going somewhere?"

"Yes. To Imanotsurugi's place," the blue hair answered.

"Really?" at those words, Yagen's eyes brightened, "Well then, here, take this."

As he said it, he handed a small plastic bag to the boy. Apparently, there was a box of _dango_ inside and when the two brothers looked at him at the same time, Yagen could only scratch the back of his head with an awkward laugh.

"It was supposed to be a gift for you guys, but then again… You wouldn't mind if I give this to the kids, would you, Souza?"

"I… I don't mind…" with his feeling now already settled down, the pink hair slowly shook his head at the question. Still, he threw a look of confusion towards his little brother who was already preparing to leave. "But, Sayo… You really shouldn't just keep quiet like that if something happened. Next time, be sure to talk to me, alright?"

"Alright," the boy nodded, "Then… I'm going."

"Take care."

"Give my best regards to Imanotsurugi, will you? If he remembers, that is…" Yagen waved a hand at the blue-haired boy with the corners of his lips drawn into a cheerful smile. To his request, Sayo nodded firmly but still, even then he remained staring quietly at their guest and it took awhile until the black hair noticed what he meant. "Don't worry. I will take good care of your brother while you're gone."

"…Thank you, Yagen-kun…" shifting his gaze away, finally the boy took off. Of course, Souza did not miss the rare smile faintly drawn on his brother's face as he left, but he had no opportunity to say a word.

Now left by himself with the other man, Souza began to feel a tinge of nervousness creeping into his heart as he watched his brother's back growing further and further away. Unconsciously trying to avoid contact with those grayish purple eyes, he awkwardly shifted inside and invited his guest in.

"W-Well then, Yagen, please come inside," he said, stuttering with his own words.

"…Yeah. Pardon the intrusion."

He wasn't looking at the black hair's face as the man answered. However, as he walked ahead of him, Souza was suddenly pulled by the wrist right after the door closed. In the next second, he found himself already trapped between the other man's arms.

"Y-Yagen?!"

"Sorry…" a low, heavy voice whispered in his ears, "Could we stay like this for a bit?"

He could feel Yagen's warmth tightening around him; his breath grazing the skin of his neck as the man buried his face on his shoulder. It felt as if his heart was about to burst from both embarrassment and surprise, but feeling no hidden intention from the way he was being embraced, eventually Souza felt at ease and returned the hug although rather awkwardly.

"You've…really become much taller…" he mumbled under his breath, touching the other man's back.

"Well, in this world, it turns out that I was born ahead of you," without letting go of the slender body in his arms, Yagen laughed softly, "But I have no complains. Otherwise, I won't be able to hold you like this."

"I can't breathe— Hey…"

"Sorry…" once again, the black hair whispered, "I just miss you so much, Souza…"

 _"You've said that, too, when we met at the hotel back there,"_ – was what he was about to say, but Souza decided to swallow back his words. For a reason even he didn't know, a subtle smile rose to his lips as he saw this striking, good-looking man acting like a child who wouldn't let go of his mother. Touching the arms surrounding his body, he slightly chuckled while looking into those grayish purple eyes. "Well, I'm happy to hear that, Yagen. But you weren't planning to come here just so you can stand in the doorway, were you? Though… Even if I'm inviting you in like this, there's nothing I could show off to you in this house."

"No, that's alright," finally loosening his embrace, Yagen returned his smile, "It is already an honor for me that you even accept me into your home."

At that answer, Souza found himself at loss of words. How was he supposed to respond when the other person said such a thing with a genuinely happy smile? Even saying a simple "Thank you" made him felt like all the blood would rush to his face.

"Why are you always saying embarrassing things out of the blue…" he mumbled while turning his back and walked on ahead, not wanting the other man to see his reddening cheeks.

Unable to find a sofa small enough to fit into their humble living room, Souza had no other choice but to let his guest sat on a cushion on the _tatami_ floor. After serving a cup of tea for the both of them, he, too, settled down a small distance away from him. Yagen, however, didn't say a word and remained sipping on his drink. In times like this, Souza really hated himself for never being able to think of anything to start a conversation.

"You're quiet as always, aren't you?" in the midst of his self-hating, all of a sudden the black hair chuckled. When he looked up, Souza found those grayish purple eyes already gazing at him. "I suppose it's not only your appearance that hasn't changed."

"I can't really help it…that I'm this kind of person…" replied him, slightly averting his gaze, "And aren't you also a smooth talker as always, Yagen?"

"Why, thank you."

"That's not even a compliment, really you…" furrowing his brows, Souza could only sigh at such a calm reply, "So… Why do you come here?"

"Obviously, I come to see you."

"Enough with the embarrassing talk already."

"No, really. Why else would I come here if you weren't here?" with a wide smile plastered all over his face, the man answered without hesitation, "But first thing first… I already said this before, but I'm sorry for the treatment you received that night. It was Midare and his twisted joke as always."

"That… I told you it's alright," shaking his head, Souza threw him a subtle smile as he answered, "Now that I've remembered him, too, I know that he meant no harm."

"Even though you were terrified enough that you were about to cry…" Yagen exhaled a long sigh, but at the same time he seemed relieved. Putting the tea cup on the table, he casted his gaze down for a brief moment before asking another question. "How much do you remember, Souza?"

"Eh?"

"How much?" he repeated his words. As he looked into the other man's eyes, Souza couldn't really tell if he was merely curious or if there was another reason.

"I remembered…that we weren't humans in the past," replied him in a small voice, "…and that we were then granted with the body of a human upon being summoned by that person."

"I see… Then, about me. What do you remember about me?"

"That you were a small little sword who became a handsome little boy afterwards," knowing that the person in front of him wouldn't like this answer, Souza put a hand to his mouth, struggling to hold back laughter while savoring the sight of this grown-up Yagen Toushirou frowning in dissatisfaction.

"Just so you know, I'm not your 'handsome little boy' anymore," he said, pursing his lips.

"Sorry, sorry. I was just kidding," still restraining his laugh, Souza thought it would be best not to tell him straight out that he'd actually become even more handsome than before, "Well, putting our past memories aside, if I may ask, what are you doing now, Yagen?"

"It was…the usual job," with uncertain voice, the black hair averted his gaze, "Nothing's special about it."

"Liar… That was a five-star hotel that your brothers invited me to."

"Are you saying people with the usual job can't afford a five-star hotel even once?" he retorted, but soon admitted defeat upon finding those pair of heterochromatic eyes clearly doubting him. Letting out a long sigh, Yagen brushed the black strands of his hair back with his fingers. "…Fine, I'll confess. I run the place."

"What?"

"What?"

"Wha— I mean… That hotel belongs to you?" Souza stared at him in disbelief.

"Well, yeah… Though I run it together with my brothers," once again, the black hair avoided to look at him in the face.

"That's… That's amazing, Yagen…" without taking his eyes off him, Souza backed down slightly, "Now I feel really bad for making you sit on this dirty floor."

"Stop saying things like that. It's exactly the reason why I didn't want to tell you."

"But—"

"It simply means that my— Our hard work pays off, that's all," replied him firmly. As though trying to cut off the conversation directed at his success, Yagen looked back at the pink hair and returned the question. "And? What about you?"

"Me? Well, I…"

For a brief moment, Souza found himself at loss of words. Just like with his brothers, he couldn't possibly tell Yagen what he'd been doing every night to obtain money from those men who'd become his patrons.

"Souza?"

"I'm…just a simple waiter working at a simple bar," he said with a bitter smile, "It's nothing worth mentioning, really."

"Don't say that. It's nothing to be ashamed of," dismissing his timid remark, Yagen firmly gazed into his eyes without even the slightest bit of pretense in his voice, "At the very least, now you have liberty to choose what you want or don't want to do. You're free."

"If you put it that way, I suppose…"

Souza's words trailed off into the distance. Compared to his life centuries ago, indeed there were no more cages barring him from seeing the outside world. However, he wondered if he really had obtained freedom as Yagen said. While he wouldn't say that he had no other choice but to sell his body, right now it was the only thing he could do to keep on living without putting too much burden on his older brother who was already struggling for the three of them.

 _"Surely… Even now I..."_

"Souza?"

"…?! Ah, I'm sorry, I'm— Eh?" startled by the sudden call, an apology blurted out of his mouth before he could even think, but his next words were stuck in his throat upon realizing how close the black hair had shifted towards him.

"What were you thinking just now?" the other man asked, ignoring his bewilderment.

"No, I… It's nothing."

"Your eyes said otherwise though…" as he said this, Yagen inched closer once again. Slowly, he lifted his hand and touched the side of Souza's face. The pink hair quivered at the cold sensation of those fingers and at that time, their eyes met each other's. "Souza… May I?"

"...!"

It wasn't a forceful act, and the black hair didn't really put any strength in his touch either, but for some reason Souza found himself unable to move. Before he could say anything else, his lips were soon sealed as the other man laid a gentle kiss on him.

"Nngh…" shutting his eyes tight, Souza's hands unconsciously reached for the other's arms; his fingers clutching onto them. Up until this point, he had lost count on how many men he'd exchanged kisses with, and yet this was the first time he didn't feel any repulsion building up in the pit of his stomach when their lips touched.

"Do you…hate it?" the black hair asked.

"S-Something like that… H-How do you expect me to answer?" Souza turned his face aside, realizing very well that he was turning red up to the ears.

"If you don't hate it, then… Is it okay to continue?"

"Conti— What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"

"It's not sudden," letting out a soft sigh, Yagen shook his head and casted a sincere look at the pair of green and blue colored eyes before him, smiling gently, "Always, since a long time ago, I've always been wondering when I will ever be blessed with a chance to hold you in my arms. Now, in this life, I finally found it – the chance I've been waiting for."

"…?!"

"Souza… I want you…"

Again, too often had he heard other men saying such a thing, that they desired him so much they could lose their mind. Now that he thought about it, some of those men actually seemed quite serious, but even then he never felt anything. Therefore… Why was it that now it felt as though his heart just stopped the moment he heard those words leaving this person's lips?

 _"Yagen, why…?"_

And yet he never had the chance to utter that question. Cupping his face in his big hands, the black hair once again closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together. Even though he was already surprised enough a moment ago, Souza could feel shiver running down his spine right now, more so when he noticed Yagen's tongue carefully slipped through his slightly opened lips. However, when he unconsciously tried to back away, those arms held his back and hips in place so that he couldn't move. It was the first time he actually felt passion burning up his entire body from the inside out while engaging in such an act, and perhaps taken aback by how he himself reacted, the pink hair didn't realize he'd been slowly been pushed down until his back was already on the floor completely.

"Y-Yagen, are you going to…?"

"May I?" the black hair repeated his question. It was already stunning enough to see that dashing face beginning to be dyed by lustful frustration, and listening to his husky voice whispering close to his ears made Souza's slender body trembled. To his lack of response, however, Yagen stroke the side of his face lovingly and showered him with soft kisses.

"Nnn…"

On the forehead, on the eyelids and on the tip of his nose… The black hair treated him so gently like a fragile piece of jewel. If this was just another one of those men, he would've covered up his disgust by telling them that it was alright to go ahead and take him so it would be over as soon as possible. But right now he was too flustered to even say a word when he saw his shirt slowly being stripped open, exposing his bare skin right under the gaze of those grayish purple eyes.

"Is it okay…to ask you something?" Yagen said; his fingers tracing the lines of his neck and collarbone. Upon finding the pink hair looking back at him with confused face, he leaned in closer as though trying to lie on top of him and whispered. "Will you promise me not to let any other people to see you like this?"

At that moment, Souza could feel his entire body turning cold all of a sudden. He hoped that Yagen wouldn't see the expression on his face, but he was sure he must've turned pale right after hearing those words. Rather than like being slapped across the face, it felt as though he was being stabbed right in the heart. If… If Yagen were to know the truth about him…what would he do?

"Souza?" with a questioning look, the black hair remained hovering on top of him, not making any further movement as though waiting for permission. But when silence hung heavily between the two of them, a bitter smile was soon drawn on his face as he laughed softly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked you something like that. It's no different than trying to take your freedom away."

"W-Wait!" when the other man was just about to raise, for a reason even he himself didn't know Souza grabbed the clothes of Yagen's upper arms in an attempt to stop him. Until a mere second ago, he was still in the midst of battling with his inner self, but when his eyes caught the sight of him growing further away, his body moved on its own before he could even think. "Wait…a minute…"

"It's alright. You don't have to force yourself to comply with my wish. Like I said, it was the same as taking your freedom away by binding you to myself," Yagen let out a forced laugh. Did the remaining uncertainty he still had left was shown in the reflection of his eyes, Souza wondered. But still, for some reason, he didn't want to let go of this man as he kept clinging onto him, hiding his face in the crook of the other's neck. When Yagen saw this, he stroke those strands of pink-colored hair with his long fingers and smiled again.

"Souza, if you do something like this, you're going to get my hopes up," he said in a gentle, yet restrained voice, "I mean, I wouldn't mind if you need some times to think it over, you know?"

As he said this, he kissed the top of Souza's exposed shoulder. The pink hair flinched slightly when those lips touched his skin, but he didn't move away. Seeing this, Yagen carefully laid him back down to the floor while nibbling at the side of his neck.

"—Ack!"

All of a sudden Souza felt his skin being bitten. There wasn't too much force put into it, but the feeling of fangs about to sink into his flesh still hurt nonetheless. Yagen licked at the red mark he'd left there, and repeated the same action over and over again as he slowly shifted down to the collarbone and chest. When his tongue ran over the soft buds protruding on the pale surface, Souza's slender body jolted as he clawed into the other's arms.

"Are you sensitive over here?" seemingly trying to reassure himself, Yagen licked on it again and the pink haired quivered. It was enough of an answer for him and after witnessing this reaction, Yagen leaned in again and wrapped his mouth around one of those.

"Not…that…" with breathless voice, Souza tried to push him away, but the other man purposely pinched the other one with his free hand. A sweet cry spilled out from Souza's thin lips, but at that very second, he immediately covered his own mouth.

 _"This voice… I'm…"_

"Were you worried that your neighbors might hear?" completely unaware of how he was feeling, Yagen grinned mischievously. However, in reality it was far from it. Souza had even completely forgotten whether the building had thin walls or not. The moment he heard his own moans, a completely unpleasant feeling immediately rose amongst the pleasure building up inside him.

It was guilt.

"Yagen…? What are you doing?"

"Nothing. This part here seems to want some attention, too," the black hair replied casually, already positioning himself between his legs. Souza knew very well that his lower part must've responded to the stimulation he'd been receiving, but he had no idea when exactly Yagen had been there and removed his briefs. Even more than that, he was mortified to find out what this man intended to do by placing himself over there.

"No, wait! You can't do that. Yagen, sto— Ah, ah!"

His late warning didn't reach him, and the consequence was more and more of those obscene voices left his lips the moment that warm and wet sensation surrounded his most sensitive part. However, the deeper his body drowned into that pleasure, his heart was tortured by an even heavier guilt. At this moment, listening to the indecent voices he made, Souza couldn't stop himself from seeing the sight of those strangers overlapping with Yagen's figure. This, no matter how he tried not to think about it, was how he'd always offered himself to his customers.

"Stop… Please stop…" he pleaded in a small voice between his erratic breathings. The feeling of those grayish purple eyes watching him from below drove him even closer to the edge, but while it would definitely feel better to let it all out, Souza closed his mouth tight with his own hands so that his cries wouldn't come out.

But still, no matter how hard he tried to withstand it, eventually his body gave in to the intoxicating pleasure and his hips buckled as he found release. Instead of relief, however, all the guilt building up until now suddenly came crashing onto him at that very same second.

"…Souza?" with a rather breathless voice, Yagen wiped the white remnants off his lips and rose to check up on him, "Souza, why are you crying?"

One drop, two drops… Tears began to fall from his heterochromatic eyes. It was painful, like his heart was being crushed into pieces, but there was nothing he could do to stop it even though Souza knew very well what the cause of it was. Although the man didn't say it directly, he could tell that Yagen was very sincere when conveying his feelings for him, and the more he thought about it, the happier he felt. Perhaps he, too, had been drawn to this person since a long time ago, or perhaps he was simply glad to know that someone else thought of him as precious. But at the same time, it was also the sole reason why he was now tortured by so much guilt.

After all, how could he let the person who treasured him this much to touch his body that had been dirtied by other men?

"Did I go too far? Sorry…" with an apologetic look, Yagen pulled him into his arms, "I'm sorry, Souza. Please don't cry."

"…s not…that…"

 _"I'm the one who should say sorry,"_ was what he wanted to say, but his sniffles prevented him from properly speaking out his thought. The black hair embraced him tight, but along with the comfort he received, a part of his heart still felt that he didn't deserve such kind treatment.

"Geez, you… If it's not because of me, then why are you crying all of a sudden?" Yagen ask, but the tone of his voice signaled that he didn't require an answer for that question. Instead, he gently stroked Souza's back, kissing the strands of his pink-colored hair and let him cried on his chest. "You should get some rest, Souza. You look tired."

Despite not knowing why this man would say such a thing, in the following silence Souza felt those long fingers kept stroking his hair quietly. It truly was comforting, and before he knew it Souza had closed his eyes, resigning himself to the warmth surrounding him. He never noticed this before, but he thought Yagen had a very soothing scent. Even though just a little bit, it felt like the pain in his heart was eased.

 _"If only I could just forget everything and stay like this forever…"_

"…Souza?" eventually looking down at the slender body in his arms, the corners of Yagen's lips were then pulled into a subtle smile as he let out a sigh, "What? You just fell asleep like that?"

He did tell him to rest, but he didn't expect the pink hair to really fall asleep while still in his arms. Still, when he took a peek at his face, he really didn't have the heart to wake him up because under those eyes, hidden beneath the traces of tears, were very noticeable dark circles. Yagen scolded himself for not noticing it earlier and went ahead of himself.

"Sorry, Souza… I shouldn't have made you even more exhausted," he whispered in an apologetic voice.

As he carefully laid that slender body on his lap, he caught the faint sound of buzzing and his eyes were then drawn towards a small object lying on the floor, not far from where the pink hair had previously been lying. It was Souza's cell phone, and from the way it kept vibrating in regular interval, it seemed that there was a call coming in.

 _"It probably fell when I pushed him down,"_ Yagen thought as he picked it up, intending to put it on the table. However, when he caught the caller's name written on the lit up display, he couldn't help but stare at it as the call remained unanswered.

 _"Red…Carnation?"_

As if it wasn't enough of a mystery, when the phone eventually stopped buzzing, what was written on the screen was even more startling that Yagen couldn't help but wonder. Even though he couldn't open the lock screen, a small pop-up showed there were dozens of missed calls and unread messages in that single phone.

Still… Upon seeing the numbers of those notifications, for some reason his mind was once again drawn back to the name of that caller he just saw.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Looks like you've been assigned on a mission."_

 _It was a bright sunny day at the Citadel. The Uchigatana was in the middle of preparing his departure for a task assigned by his new Master when the black Tantou visited his room._

 _"Yes…" he responded in a small voice. Obviously, his comrade noticed the different air surrounding him and immediately voiced his thought._

 _"Why? Are you not happy with it?" asked the boy._

 _"No, of course not," he quickly declined, "I am happy to be trusted with such a task, but…"_

 _"But?"_

 _The Uchigatana fell silent, casting an empty gaze at the floor. It was clear even for a stranger that there were doubts troubling him even as he was preparing himself to leave after accepting the mission_

 _Nevertheless, the Tantou waited patiently until his beautiful comrade found his voice again._

 _"I wonder…" whispered the Uchigatana, "Is it alright…to let a caged bird go outside?"_

 _"So that's what you were worried about," with a light chuckle, the Tantou settled next to him, Despite bearing the appearance of a boy in his adolescence, his low voice was calming and he tenderly touched those slender hands. "Take me along if you're worried. I will not become a hindrance."_

* * *

No matter how many days had passed, the bustling city remained unchanging. Countless lights of different colors began to sparkle when night descended upon the millions of lives flocking inside. And of course, amongst the majority of individuals walking down the street to end their long day, for some others it was the start of another new day.

The red-light district was also the same as usual. It hadn't become very crowded yet as the shops were still in the middle of preparing themselves, but gave it another hour and tons of people would begin to walk down its extravagant streets. After all, aside of granting physical pleasure, the red-light district was where one could realize their dream even for only a single night. And amongst those tens of shops which would look similar to newcomers, one shop seemed to be a bit more packed than the others despite the rather early hour.

On the entrance, a red flower made of small lights shimmered along with the words "Red Carnation".

"…So, you're really leaving."

"…Yes…"

Contrary to the active salon, the manager's office in the back room was quiet as grave. Only two figures were there; one was the manager himself sitting behind his desk and the other was a prostitute who had been working there for awhile. His slender body was wrapped in modest clothing, but it did not reduce the beauty emitted by his pale, flawless figure. With his long, pink-colored hair unraveled down the left part of his chest, his heterochromatic eyes casted their gaze down to the floor.

"I know I already asked this when you called before, but could you please explain to me again why you want to resign all of a sudden?" asked the manager while resting his elbow on the desk.

"I…do not wish to continue working in this line of business," with a timid voice, the pink hair answered, "Of course, I mean no disrespect to anyone, but I would like to find a different job."

"Then isn't it fine to stay until you get a new job?"

"It… It isn't possible, I'm sorry," replied him, shaking his head. But even as he said this, never once did he lift his face and look at his manager straight in the eyes. Seeing this reaction, the other person couldn't help but let out a long sigh.

"Well, I can't force you if you don't want to say it. But you must understand that as the manager of this place, I have my concerns since you are one of our most precious assets," he looked at the pink hair in frowns, "Still, as another human being I can understand why you want to leave a place like this. Nevertheless I would like you to at least take responsibility before leaving due to the sudden nature of your resignation. Are you okay with that?"

"C-Certainly, I understand!"

"Glad to hear that," the manager seemed relieved rather than pleased, as he nodded. He worked a bit with his computer before looking back at the pink hair standing in front of him. "Just now, we received a customer who booked the most expensive room we have and he is expecting you to be there when he arrived. If you could provide your service to this person, he will be your last customer and afterwards you are free to go."

"…Really?"

"Yes. After this, you will no longer be 'Canary of Red Carnation'."

At that remark, Souza gulped down and lightly casted his gaze down once again. How long had he been yearning to take off this name he'd been using to please other men craving for his body? He wasn't delighted with the fact that there was still one more person he needed to service, but if it meant he could finally be free afterwards…

 _"Surely, I can survive this one last time."_

Bowing his head while excusing himself, the pink hair left his manager's office and headed to the said room. It was located on the building's second floor, decorated in such a way that the lavish atmosphere was not buried by the fact that it was a place of prostitution. Just like the other rooms in the shop, every once in awhile they changed the theme to attract more customers. The workers, except when they were accepting jobs outside the shop, would be required to dress up according to the theme.

This time, apparently it was set to traditional Japanese style.

"Well now… Doesn't this bring back memories…" Souza said to himself upon finding the clothes prepared for him, neatly folded on the foot of the futon that had been prepared. Even though the design wasn't necessarily similar, having to wear a _kimono_ again made him felt as though he was looking back at his previous life when he was first granted with a human body. At the same time, however, he felt miserable while putting on the clothes, knowing very well that those memories he recalled would soon be stained by the deed he was going to commit.

 _"Yagen… Back then, I would never have thought that he had been having that kind of desire towards me…"_

They had been together for a long time, even during the times when only their souls were alive, dwelling inside n inanimate objects. To him who had been constantly longing for freedom, Yagen was a precious comrade who'd always cheer on him in his own little ways. The second time they met, too, that fact remained unchanged. Now that he thought about it, despite having a smaller and younger look, Yagen's mature voice had always managed to soothe him whenever he was troubled.

And in this new life they were blessed with, he was granted with a body befitting of that composure.

"…"

As his mind wandered off to the event that took place in the recent weekend, involuntarily Souza touched his own lips with the tips of his pale fingers. Here, in this place, that man kissed him so many times. He'd never imagined he'd be doing such a thing with Yagen and he really was taken by surprise. The guy already left without a word by the time he woke up from his sleep, but the warmth still lingered in every part of his body that he touched. Honestly, Souza was even more surprised by how he himself accepted the black hair without any resistance, as if it was only natural for him to be held by that man.

[ _"Souza, I want you…"_ ]

The moment those words repeated themselves in the back on his mind, Souza could feel all the blood rushing to his face. He quickly shook his head to dismiss the thought, realizing that his face had grown hot when he put the palm of his hands on his cheeks.

 _"What am I, stupid?"_ he scolded himself over the flooding embarrassment invading his heart. However, at that moment he heard a knock on the door and he immediately turned around.

"Canary," a staff half opened the sliding door and poked in, "The guest is coming. Please get ready."

Hearing the announcement shattered all the sweet recollections he was having, but Souza immediately brushed the gloomy thoughts aside and ensured himself that he was already wearing the kimono properly. Taking a quick look at a nearby mirror, he skillfully tied his long hair with a thin ribbon and let the rest of the pink colored strands to freely fall on the left side of his chest.

 _"That's right. This is the last time. If I could just endure this one, everything will be over."_

He stood in his place, facing the door. Indeed, little by little he noticed the sound of footsteps growing closer; one must've belonged to the staff from before and the other to the guest. Normally, he wouldn't care less about it and killed his own feelings temporarily until he finished his duty, but for some reason now he could feel his heart beating fast as though it was his first time receiving a customer.

 _"Am I feeling excited because this will be the last time?"_

At that moment, he saw two shadows standing right outside. Souza waited in anticipation while fixing his own posture, expecting the door to be opened in any seconds now. One of the two shadows then visibly held out his hands to make way, and then the figure of his final guest was finally revealed.

"…?! You're—"

Entering the traditional Japanese style room was a tall young man with straight black hair. As the staff closed the sliding door behind him, he removed his shoes and casually stepped forward. His formal outfit indicated that he had just returned from work, but even with only one glance it was easy to guess the high class status he was holding.

"What? They said you're the best one here, but is that how you greet your customer?" the guest snorted with a displeased expression.

"But— How…?"

"I suppose it is only natural for you to be surprised, huh?" replied the man, cocking his face up, "Guess you'd never expect me to find your cell phone when your 'working place' called, would you? Now I know why you didn't see my message back there when I said I was coming over."

He showed a cold sneer.

"It's not that you didn't, but you _couldn't_ , right? After all, it was buried under tons of other messages. Who were they from? Your other customers?"

Souza was at loss of words. It was true… There were occasions when he was unable to refuse when they asked for his number, so he'd always been receiving a lot of calls and messages from those men he'd slept with. That was the reason why he had always set his cell phone in vibrate-only mode. Still, he didn't remember dropping his phone anywhere, but he did remember he fell asleep while Yagen was still in his apartment. Could it be at that time…?

"Well, no matter. Whatever you say wouldn't change anything anyway," the black-haired man exhaled a long sigh. He brushed the bangs on his forehead back with his long fingers, and as he looked back at Souza, the corners of his lips were pulled into a smile; a cold, cold smile. "In any case, for the sake of formalities, let me introduce myself because apparently you were so surprised you've forgotten your manners."

He slightly bowed in an exaggerated attitude.

"Good evening. My name is Yagen Toushirou and I will be your patron tonight. It is a pleasure to finally meet you… _Canary_."

It felt as though the floor under him crumbled to pieces, and along with it Souza could feel his heart sinking into a bottomless abyss. Of all people, why must it be him? He thought he would resign from this place as soon as possible so Yagen didn't have to know about his real profession, but if in the end his final customer turned out to be the very man himself…

 _"Is it all meaningless then?"_

"What's with the silence, Canary?" the black hair coldly spit those words, "I'm sure you didn't become the number one prostitute here by standing like a statue in front of your customers, did you?"

"…I beg your pardon for my earlier rudeness," after a brief pause, the pink hair elegantly curtsied all of a sudden, "I am Canary of Red Carnation. How may I be of service to you tonight, Toushirou- _sama_?"

His voice was calm. There were no more traces of shock on his face as though they'd been long gone and one could easily thought that he had transformed into a completely different person. Being able to regain his composure in so quick of a manner might indeed come from experience, but at the same time, if one were to look closely… The moment his thin lips uttered those words, it was as if all lights had faded from his eyes.

 _"It's okay… This is the same as before. All I have to do is simply to kill my feelings and finish my duty."_

"Well, what do you usually do to please your other customers?" Yagen threw his question in an indifferent voice.

"I am entirely at your disposal for any service you would like me to perform. I have, by no means, any intention to do anything that you do not wish."

"…Fine then."

The next thing he knew, Souza felt his body being harshly thrown down that he abruptly fell on the futon. Supporting himself up with both hands, he saw Yagen tossing his coat away and loosened his tie before approaching him. Souza didn't even have time to think. With the difference between their builds clearly shown, the black hair trapped him under his masculine frame and cruelly stripped off the upper part of his kimono. Once again, before those pair of grayish purple spheres his body was exposed.

"—Ack!"

A sharp pain struck him by the side of his neck. There, Yagen had bitten him, just like what he did back then. But this time he didn't hold back. Souza could feel the tip of his fangs sinking into the surface of his skin and he grimaced in pain. Though he couldn't really see it, he was sure there must be blood sipping out from the place where he was bitten.

"Nnn… Tsk!"

It did not stop there. After his neck, it was his shoulder, his upper arm, his chest… Clutching at the crumpled white sheet under him, Souza merely turned his face aside and shut his eyes tight. There was nothing he could do to stop him. He couldn't even protest as the pain assaulted his senses again and again. Even though it was Yagen, at the same he was also his customer tonight. As long as they did not breach the rules established in the brothel, as one working in that place Souza could only obey what his patrons wanted him to do.

"Are you always this quiet when you slept with those other men?" Yagen asked coldly while purposely pinching one of his nipples. Souza's body jolted from the painful pleasure, but still he struggled to seal his lips. "Come on. Make some noise for me."

As he said it, his tongue licked those light-colored buds as they perked up on that pale chest. When he was being teased in such a way, Souza couldn't help raising his voice despite the rough treatment he was receiving.

"Yeah, that's right. Cry louder."

The black hair slid his free hand between Souza's legs, grabbing the half-hard member exposed through the disheveled kimono. Souza, on the other hand, could only endure the mix of pain and pleasure when his most sensitive member was being roughly rubbed like that. Though… It wasn't physical pain that tortured him the most.

 _"Yagen…"_

Just a few days back, this man right here had done the same thing to him. He was so kind and gentle, and for the first time in his life, Souza felt that he was loved; that the arms holding him did not have any intention to hurt him. And now, that very same man was…

"Nnngh—!"

"I haven't done anything, but it's pretty loose already. Just how many people have played with you here, huh, Canary?"

Souza bit his lower lip when Yagen pushed a finger through the small opening on his backside, thrusting it in and out without waiting for him to get used to it. Nevertheless, what Yagen said was true. The pink hair knew very well that after all these years he spent working in this place, his body had grown far too accustomed to such treatment. It wasn't even that difficult for the other man to push in another finger afterwards, and instead of pain, Souza's slender hips squirmed in pleasure as both his front and back side were being toyed with.

He knew that he was close.

"Wait… Please…wait…" he clutched at Yagen's arms with pleading look.

"What?" replied the black hair indifferently, returning a cold stare at him, "I can't hear you."

"I, ah— Please… Please wait, I— Ah, hah! Sto—Nnnggh!"

His words scattered into incomprehensible moans when he felt those fingers hitting a certain part deep inside him; his already swollen member found release in Yagen's hand. Breathlessly, the pink hair lied motionless on the futon with his thoughts still hazy from the recent ecstasy, but before he could even gather his focus back, something different than fingers pressed against his backside. It was scorching hot, and even without looking Souza knew very well what it was that he was immediately overcame with panic.

"No… No, please no," once again he clutched at those arms trapping him. His voice shook as he pleaded to the man hovering on top of him; his blue and green eyes casting a clear fright. "I beg you, please don't."

"Why? I paid for this, didn't I?" Yagen retorted, "And haven't you been doing this, too, with other people? Why can't I?"

"Please…"

Souza nearly cried as he said it; all the composure he'd been struggling to maintain had shattered. He thought he could just kill his feelings as he usually did towards all those men, but in fact he couldn't survive it. His heart couldn't stand it anymore. He didn't want Yagen to take him, not like this, not in this place, not when he had found out the shameful truth he'd been desperately trying to hide.

"Shut up," the black hair spit his words harshly, "Just one more person wouldn't make any difference to you, would it? After all, I'm just one among the many customers you've slept with."

"That's not—"

"I said, shut up!" Yagen raised his voice. He clenched his fists so hard that his knuckles turned white, and it was at that moment Souza finally saw through the cold attitude he'd been posing. Yagen was gritting his teeth; the betrayed look on his face was painfully clear.

 _"…Did I do this to him?"_

"Don't say anything anymore…" the black hair whispered in a raspy voice, "I don't want to hear…"

And he did stand by his words. Not giving any chance for Souza to reply, he grabbed those slender legs and spread them apart, entering the place where they would be joined together. Souza's eyes went wide and his body stiffened at the sensation of a hot mass prying his inside open. Even if he opened his mouth, there no voice coming out from his throat as the intensity was enough to make him nearly lost his mind. Yagen didn't even wait and began to pound into him, and Souza was mortified when his body – no matter how hard his heart tried to deny it – easily responded to the other's heat.

"Aa— Ah, ah, kuh—"

"Tch!"

A drop of sweat rolled down the side of Yagen's handsome face and dripped down from his chin; their heavy breathings overlapping one after the other. To most people, his heated look at this moment might seem extremely sensual, but not to Souza. Yagen was in pain… Yagen was in so much pain that he looked as if he was on the brink of tears. That gentle and composed man… His kind and loving expression was no more. All of this because he took up this profession; all of this because he chose to be a part of this accursed world.

All of this…because of him.

"…S…orry…" with a small voice, the pink hair murmured those words, "Sorry… Yagen, I'm sorry…"

He covered his face with both hands. At the very least, he didn't want Yagen to see the disgraceful look that he had shown to many others despite not by his own will. He had broken this man's heart, this man who had treasured him unconditionally since long ago. Instead of repaying him, he hurt him.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… Yagen, please forgive me…"

He could feel the black hair throbbing inside him as his pace grew faster, and as much as he tried to deny it, Souza knew that he, too, was nearing his limit. When Yagen pounded into his most sensitive part, Souza cried out while arching his back; his inner walls squeezing hard at the other man's who soon released all of his desire inside. The physical pleasure was brief, however, for in the next instant a wave of guilt far heavier than anything he had ever felt took hold of himself entirely.

Why did Yagen have to find out about him? Why did he have to work in a place like this? There was no words said between the two of them, but to Souza, it felt as though the other man was judging him in this silence. Were those grayish purple eyes now looking at him with hatred? Were those eyes now looking at him in disgust? How he wished all of these would merely be a nightmare… But all he heard afterwards was the sound of Yagen's footsteps leaving the room. It happened so fast that the feeling of loneliness didn't struck him until the sound of door firmly closed soon followed.

"…Stupid. Don't cry…"

He wondered whether it was because that man could no longer stand the sight of him. When this realization dawned on him, Souza's eyes felt hot and he curled on the crumpled sheets of the futon, ignoring his soiled body. There was no helping it now. It was too late. That man had found out the ugly truth he'd been hiding and there was no way to talk himself out of this.

"…"

Souza wiped away the tears that started to spill down from his green and blue eyes. Squirming away from the futon, he dragged his exhausted body to where he had kept his personal clothes and stripped off the dirty kimono he was wearing. His lips were sealed tight, and as soon as he finished changing, he gathered what remained of his personal belongings and staggered to his feet.

When he stepped out of the room, a lavish corridor spread in front of his eyes.

 _"…I can leave now…can't I?"_

As much as he wanted to break into a run, it would draw too much unwanted attention that he decided to walk down the stairs to the first floor. How long had passed since then? The salon was now already crowded with both his colleagues and the customers. The door to the manager's office was visible at the further back, but even though he knew he had to drop by to say his goodbye, Souza silently slipped through the groups of people towards the entrance.

The weather was not as cold as he expected when he stepped out to the street. However, still he couldn't help but shiver when the wind breezed past him; his long pink hair fluttering. Considering the numbers of people engaging in various activities in this sleepless part of the town, it seemed that the nightlife had just begun, but Souza wanted nothing else but to reach home as soon as possible. Tightening his coat to protect his trembling shoulders, he resumed his steps through the crowded streets in hope that he would soon see the sight of that modest apartment lying in wait for him.

"You… Have we met before?"

Stopping him in his track were two unfamiliar men who, along with him and some other people, were also waiting for the red light to turn green before crossing the street. Souza lifted his face, staring at the taller men in confusion upon hearing such unexpected question.

"I'm sorry, but perhaps you mistake for another person," he replied politely.

"But I'm sure I've seen you before…" the other man didn't take his eyes off him, seemingly deep in thought, "Aren't you…from that place over there?"

"Eh?"

"Come to think of it… You're Canary from Red Carnation, right?"

Usually this would be the most hated situation he found himself in where people found out about his identity as he was trying to head home. Perhaps he was simply afraid they would take him somewhere else, but right now for some reason he did not feel the usual feeling of repulsion towards these people. Instead, before he knew it the corners of his lips were pulled into a subtle smile as he responded to them.

"No, that is slightly incorrect," he said calmly, "I am no longer Canary of Red Carnation."

While the two men seemed to be rather taken aback by his answer, a strange feeling began to grow inside Souza's heart. That was right, wasn't it? He had completed the final duty he was given. He had served his last customer as ordered. He was free. He was no longer Canary of Red Carnation. Finally… Finally he could take off this identity forever. Yet instead of feeling happy, why did he feel like he was about to cry?

"Souza!"

A voice called out to him from the distance and in that very second, his body grew cold. He didn't want to see; he didn't want to look back, but denying his desperate thought, his body moved on its own and turned towards the direction of the voice. As he feared, a young man with straight black hair was chasing after him.

"Ah—"

"Souza, wait!"

He didn't understand why Yagen ran after him, but more than that, he didn't understand why he himself was so scared of seeing that desperate face again. One step… Two steps… The closer that man came, the further away he stepped backward. And finally, ignoring the hordes of people whose attention had been drawn towards them, Souza broke into a run.

"SOUZA!"

There were horns screaming madly. There was the painful sound of tires screeching against the asphalt. For a split second, Souza thought he could hear people screaming from the other side of the road, but the next thing he knew, there was the light of a car blazing at him and a force so strong rammed hard against his slender body.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Souza! Souza, where are you?!"_

 _The sliding door was opened abruptly. Darting into the room, the black Tantou found the wounded Uchigatana lying on a futon spread on the tatami floor. He was heavily injured; his head, arms, legs and torso were all covered in what were supposed to be white bandages. Though, they were no longer white due to the excessive crimson splotches seeping out from his wounds._

 _"Souza," the boy knelt next to him, taking his hand, "Souza, why? I told you to take me along, didn't I?"_

 _The Uchigatana slowly opened his eyes, and upon recognizing the presence beside him, his thin lips were drawn into a weak smile. At this sight, the black Tantou felt as though his heart was being crushed._

 _"Why?" asked him again as he hung his head, "If only you'd let me come, I would've been able to protect you."_

 _Still wearing the same smile, the Uchigatana simply shook his head slowly. The two of them were engulfed in silence; the black Tantou didn't let go of the other's hand. However, it was at that moment he realized those heterochromatic eyes were beginning to lose their light._

 _"…Souza?" he called his name as an unpleasant premonition beginning to creep into his heart, "Souza, are you alright?"_

 _The Uchigatana looked as though he was casting a blank stare at the distance; his eyelids only half opened. When the black Tantou kept calling him, eventually his lips moved ever so slightly as he spoke in a faint voice._

 _"…Closing my eyes…the dream of flames…I…"_

 _"No, don't close your eyes!" the boy squeezed his hand, "Souza, stay with me! Whatever happens I will protect you, so—"_

 _The black Tantou couldn't bear to continue his words. It was clear as day how the Uchigatana's breathing was growing weaker with every passing second, but even though he knew exactly what was coming, still he refused to accept it._

 _"So please…" once again he held that slender hand; bringing the palm to his face as he kissed it gently, "Please stay with me…"_

 _To his pleading, the Uchigatana slightly turned his face towards him. A smile was drawn on that pale face once more, but tears began to form at the corner of the boy's eyes upon hearing the last words leaving those thin lips._

 _"Burnt twice…and reforged…again… But there is no next time… At long last…freedom…"_

* * *

Beep… Beep… Beep…

Souza woke up to the faint mechanic sound continuously chiming next to him. His eyelids were heavy, and when he did manage to open them, all his blurry sight could ever see was the color of white. Moreover, the air was so heavily dyed with the smell of medicines that he couldn't help but cringe upon breathing it in.

"Are you awake?"

It felt as though his heart just leapt out of his chest the moment he heard that familiar voice greeting him. He couldn't believe it, but as he looked aside, the figure of a man with long greenish silver hair returned his gaze gently.

"…Ani…ki?"

Kousetsu smiled at his question. Still staring at the unexpected presence of his brother, Souza found himself at lost for a few seconds before he finally came to it.

"Aniki—!"

He lifted himself and was about to rush towards the older man when sudden pain struck his body entirely. The pink hair grimaced and nearly fell back to the bed. It was only at that moment he noticed the countless bandages wrapping various parts of his body under the plain hospital cloth he was wearing. There was even one circling around his forehead and neck.

"Take it easy, Souza. Your wounds haven't fully healed yet," in a soothing voice, Kousetsu carefully helped him to sit on the bed.

"Aniki, I…"

"It's alright," replied his brother while stroking his hair, "It's alright already, Souza."

It felt as though those words just opened a place he'd been locking deep inside his heart. Like a big flood bursting out of a dam, countless feelings erupted inside of him that Souza threw himself into his brother's arms, choking back tears. He didn't know why he cried, he didn't even know whether he was happy or sad. At this moment, the presence of his brother was so relieving that everything he'd been holding back simply exploded all at once.

"Aniki, sorry… I'm sorry…"

"It's alright," once again, Kousetsu repeated his words, "You've been through a lot, Souza. It's okay to let it out now."

Ignoring the excruciating pain spreading all over his body, Souza remained clutching at his brother, almost as if he had degraded back to a child. Meanwhile, the older man only smiled and kept stroking his back, patiently waiting until he calmed down before talking to him.

"I'm glad you're okay," said him while letting out a faint sigh, "I was really worried when the first thing I heard upon my arrival was that you were in a hospital. I'm so glad that you're alright."

"When…did you arrive?" the pink hair asked in a raspy voice.

"It was last week," replied him, wiping away the traces of tears from his younger brother's swollen, reddened eyes, "That said, it meant that you had been unconscious for a week. It was fortunate that the driver of the car that hit you managed to pull the brake at the very last moment, so it didn't become fatal."

Not knowing how he was supposed to answer, Souza casted his gaze down for he was also surprised by the fact. Indeed, he recalled that he ran to the street when the light of the pedestrian was still red, but with this recollection another question emerged to his mind. Timidly, he looked up at his brother.

"A-Aniki…" he called.

"Yes?"

"Have you…heard?"

"Heard about what— Oh…" although he seemed confused at first, Kousetsu quickly caught on to his intention. Souza hung his head again; his heart started to race at the thought of how his brother would react to this. If anything, he could say in all honestly that he was scared.

 _"I have been a disgrace to our family."_

"Well, truthfully I was quite shocked the first time I heard about it," replied the other man while letting out a sigh once again, "It was beyond my imagination that you would do something like that. I thought… If only I was doing a better job as the eldest son, there was no need for you to go to such length."

"But it wasn't your fault—"

"I know you would say something like that," Kousetsu smiled kindly at his respond, "And I know blaming myself wouldn't provide us with a solution. In the first place, you are free to make your own choice and even though this was what you decided, your intention was by no means bad. You only meant to help your family."

"…Does Sayo…know?"

"He does."

At these words, Souza could feel his heart sinking. Of all people, Sayo was the one person that absolutely mustn't know about this.

"Sayo… Sayo must be ashamed when he heard about it…right?" asked Souza while clutching at the sheets of his bed, "To find out that his elder brother had been working as a prostitute…"

"Is that how you think it is? Souza, you should have more faith in your family," his brother chuckled at his words, "You know that Sayo loves you very much. Even if he'd found out about this, his love for you would never cease."

As he said this, Kousetsu slightly cocked his head to the opposite direction. When Souza looked back, on the couch there laid the blue-haired boy, sleeping soundly while covered in his brother's jacket. To this sight, the pink hair could only stare in surprise.

"It's been a week," said Kousetsu, "He insisted to stay with you here and asked me to help get permission from his school. When I didn't agree, he came here every day after school and did all his homework and study in this room. Do you still think he hates you now?"

"…"

Souza hung his head down, unsure of how to answer his brother. While he remained deep in thought, his elder brother rose from his seat and headed to where the blue-haired boy was sleeping. Wrapping the boy in his jacket, he carefully lifted him to his arms as not to wake him up.

"I'm taking Sayo back home," he said, "Rest well, Souza. I will return soon."

The pink hair nodded at his brother's words. However, right after the older man opened the door, his steps were halted before he could even step outside.

"Aniki? What's wrong?" asked Souza, slightly tilting his head in confusion. Hearing the bewildered tone of his voice, Kousetsu turned at him and showed a meaningful smile.

"I take back my words. It seems that I won't need to return after all."

"Eh?"

Still with the same smile drawn on his face, Kousetsu stepped outside while bringing along the still sleeping Sayo in his arms. What appeared before Souza after the figure of his brother disappeared was an exhausted young man whose grayish purple eyes went wide upon seeing him sitting on the bed; his hair messy and his face pale.

"You're…awake…?"

"…Yagen…"

"Souza, you're awake…?"

For a split second, there was fear taking hold of his heart as Souza couldn't help but remember what had happened back then. However, that feeling soon vanished when he had taken a good look at this man standing before him. Yagen kept staring at him in disbelief, almost like he was looking at an apparition. When he walked into the room, it seemed as if he could crumble to his feet at any moment. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and Souza could realize at least that much.

"You're awake…" finally reaching his side, Yagen took those slender hands and held them tight, burying his face on the surface of the bed, "Thank goodness… Thank goodness, Souza…"

Was he crying? Souza couldn't stop that thought from floating to the back of his mind as he heard the other man's voice weakly chanting his name like a spell. This calm and composed man… What had he done to make him break down like this?

"Y-Yagen, I…"

"I'm sorry," the black hair whispered before Souza could finish his words, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I make you scared. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Souza."

 _"But I'm the one who…"_

Souza opened his mouth, but he closed them again. He was the one who should apologize. He was the one who betrayed this man, and yet why was Yagen the one who apologized? Biting his lower lip, Souza breathed in and attempted to control his own voice from shaking as he talked.

"It's… It's not your fault, Yagen," he said, touching the other man's shoulder, "I… I should apologize for lying to you. It's my fault and you have the right to be angry at me."

"It was your last night," replied the black hair, still not lifting his face up, "You have decided to resign, and yet I went ahead of myself instead of listening to you first. I hurt you and made you scared. It was my fault that you were injured like this."

"H-How did you know about that?!"

Yagen seemed unwilling, but eventually he explained that he met his manager before leaving the brothel. It was from him that he heard about Souza leaving the business altogether, which was the reason why he chased after him.

"But it was too late. You ran away when you saw me because I forced myself upon you. I ignored your pleas instead of giving you a peace of mind. I claimed that I will protect you, but in the end, I was the one who bring you harm," as he said this, Yagen's voice shook and he kept hanging his head down, "Now I finally understand why you left me back then. No matter how many centuries have past, I still am incapable of protecting you."

Souza could see dark circles under those grayish purple eyes. Had he been watching over him all this time he was in the hospital? And now that he thought about it, this room seemed to be too expensive for his own family to afford. Though… More than anything, when he saw Yagen in such a state, he couldn't help but feel a _déjà vu_. This desperate face… He felt like he had seen this a very long time ago.

"Yagen…" once again, he touched the man's shoulder, prompting him to look up and see him in the eyes, "Please don't think so badly of yourself. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Haha, you're too kind, Souza. After what I've done to you, still you said I didn't do anything wrong," with a bitter smile, the black hair shook his head, "In the first place, I shouldn't even be here. I do not deserve to be by your side anymore."

Souza was at loss of words. He could see Yagen's hands trembling as he said this, even though the man attempted to look strong by forcing a painful smile on his face. He wondered what he was supposed to say at a time like this. If it was Yagen, since a long time ago he had always managed to calm him down with simple words and gesture.

 _"Why am I always like this…?"_

"…Souza?"

Not knowing what else he could do, the pink hair leaned forward and circled his arms around the other, hugging him tight. He thought he could hear a small gasp of surprise coming from Yagen, but at this point, any words he said might not be enough to convince this man that he didn't need to blame himself for what had happened.

"Why are you doing this, Souza?" instead of returning his embrace, Yagen shrank back as though he was trying to escape, but the pink hair held him tight.

"You always did this to me whenever I was feeling uneasy," he replied in a small voice, burying his face in the crook of the other's neck, "You've always…calmed me down by doing this, so I want to return the favor."

"Stop it, Souza. I told you I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be allowed to be anywhere near you."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what I might do to you," said the black hair in a restrained voice, "Please let me go now before I lost myself."

"No," Souza shook his head, "I don't care what you will do to me. I don't want you to go."

Yagen gritted his teeth, and in the next second Souza felt himself being pushed back to the bed. Even though the other man was being careful as not to cause his wounds to reopen, he wasted no time to seal those thin lips with his own, holding the wrists of his hands above his head.

"Why are you doing this?" Yagen said in a husky voice; a transparent thread was formed between them when they separated, "Why are you doing this to me, Souza? You always tossed my heart around. Don't you know that I love you so much I can barely keep myself together?"

He gazed into those pair of heterochromatic eyes with a painful look on his face.

"That's right. I love you. I love you, Souza. I love you so much I don't even know what to do anymore. No matter how many times I was reborn, I could never throw these feelings away. You…" almost as if he was already in the brink of tears, Yagen finally rested himself on the other's chest, "You're the only one for me. Always… Always, I can think of no one else but you that it drives me crazy."

As the grip on his wrists weakened, Souza slowly moved his hands to Yagen's back, clutching at his shirt. Looking at this man right now, he couldn't help but recall those days they had spent together in the past. Even as a mere sword, even when he was reborn in the body of a boy, Yagen had always remained by his side and showered him with affection. And in all those times, never once had he thanked him. If anything, in the end he always ended up leaving this person although not by his own will.

"…You… You've always been very nice to me," stuttering with his own words, Souza finally found his voice back as he answered timidly, "Even though I have hurt you so many times… If… If you are fine with someone like me…"

"You don't seem to be aware of your own worth," the black hair sighed; his hand brushing those strands of pink hair over Souza's ear, "You are the prettiest, the most beautiful. How can you even think so low of yourself?"

"I was claimed by so many people because of this so-called beauty and robbed of my freedom because of it."

"Which is why I've always been so jealous," said Yagen as he frowned, "Then and now, when I thought you were finally within reach, someone always took you away from me, claiming you as their own when in fact, what they'd ever done was stripping away your happiness. I was angry at them for ignoring your feelings, but more than that I was angry at myself for being so powerless."

As he said this, he gently held the other's hand.

"All I ever want is to protect you from harm. Why is it so difficult to do just this…?" kissing the back of that slender hand, his whisper sounded weak as he spoke in a sad voice. But at the same time, to Souza his words sounded sincere. He had heard a lot of people praising him for his beauty, but none of them actually loved him for who he was. Even now as a human, all those men he'd slept with also admired him simply to satisfy their vulgar desires. If it was Yagen…

 _"Perhaps…with him, I can finally be at peace."_

When he thought about it, he had never felt any repulsion when Yagen stayed close to him, touched him and showered him with kind words. Unlike those people whose falsehood gave him nothing but disgust, Yagen was the only person he never hated to be with. Maybe… Maybe… Since a long time ago, he had unconsciously had his heart taken by this man.

"Will you…really protect me?" his voice shook as he talked, but when those grayish purple eyes looked at him, Souza gulped down his doubts and continued, "Will you really love me…for who I really am?"

"I will."

"Even if…I'm no longer beautiful? Will you promise not to throw me away?"

"What are you talking about?" the black hair chuckled. For the first time since that night, Yagen finally showed his genuine smile and Souza must admit his heart leapt when he saw that dashing face despite the traces of exhaustion that remained. "To me, there is no soul more beautiful than yours. I can't imagine myself with any other person except you."

His face must be turning red right now, Souza thought to himself when he felt his cheeks growing hot. However, before he could say anything in return, Yagen put his hands on both sides of his face, softly bumping their foreheads together as he whispered.

"I promise I will protect you and love you for the rest of my life. So, Souza… Please don't leave me ever again…okay?"

"…I won't," the pink hair answered in a small voice, struggling in vain to hide his embarrassment. Yagen let out a soft laugh once again, and with one hand brushed those strands of pink hair lovingly while his other hand taking that delicate body into his arm. Knowing very well that he had no more means to escape, Souza returned his embrace and tightly clutched onto him.

"…Y-Yagen…"

"Hmm?"

"I…" he was about to speak, but for some reason his words were stuck in his throat. Yagen waited patiently until he regained his composure, and eventually, the pink hair managed to find his voice back although still he stuttered as he spoke. "I… I think… I love you, too…"

He expected the other man to laugh and stroke his hair at his confession. However, in the next second he noticed that Yagen's shoulders were shaking visibly as though he was struggling to control something inside himself from exploding.

"You…" the black hair replied in a restrained voice, "I told you to stop it, didn't I? If you keep this up, I don't know what I might do to you."

The both of them remained in silence for awhile, but in the next moment, Souza found himself bursting into a fit of laughter. His head hurt, his ribs hurt, his entire body hurt, but for some reason he couldn't stop laughing. How long had it been since he last laughed like this? But even though Yagen didn't seem amused, he could tell that this man was at the very least relieved to see his reaction. In the end, he really did stroke his hair and helped him to lie back down on the bed, kissing his forehead. As the black hair once again whispered his love to him, Souza smiled and circled his arm around the other's neck.

 _"Maybe… Maybe with him, I can finally be happy…"_


	5. Extra Chapter

The fluffy bed made a slight creak as one of the two occupants attempted to rise without making a sound. Carefully squirming out of the blanket, a pair of slender legs eventually managed to step on the smooth marble floor. It was a young man with long, silky pink-colored hair freely unraveled down his delicate shoulders. His heterochromatic eyes – one green and the other blue – glanced back at the other occupant of the bed; another young man, slightly older than him, with jet black hair who was still sleeping soundly.

 _"It should be okay now…right?"_

After making sure that the other man was not disturbed by his movement, the slender figure stretched out his body and turned towards where the bathroom was located. However, before he could take even one step forward, he heard the sound on sheets rustling behind him and he looked back to find the black hair yawning, looking at him with half-opened eyes.

"…Souza…?" he asked in a low, husky voice, "Where are you going?"

"Good morning, Yagen," the pink hair replied with a smile, "I'm just going to wash my face."

"Come back here…" in a spoiled manner, Yagen lazily plopped onto his stomach and stretched out his hand, tugging at the tip of Souza's fingers. The way he did it with pampered voice was so adorably childlike that Souza couldn't help but do as he wanted.

"Yes, yes," he returned to the bed, letting out a sigh as he smiled once again. As soon as that delicate body was within reach, Yagen snuggled up to the crook of his neck and hugged him like a body pillow. It didn't take long until the black hair fell back asleep exactly in that very position.

 _"You really didn't change at all."_

Souza couldn't stop a chuckle from breaking out upon seeing the other man's attitude. It did remind him a lot of the older time when this guy was just a small boy whose height didn't even reach his shoulders. The only difference now was that Yagen turned out to be a few years older than him, taller and bigger.

"Well then, Yagen… You leave me no choice but to go back to sleep," although knowing very well that his lover would never be able to hear him in this state, still Souza purposely whispered into his ears before adjusting his position, closing his eyes again as he stroked those strands of jet black hair with his fingers.

It had been more than three months since Souza was released from the hospital. He did remain unconscious for a week after the accident due to an impact on his head, but thankfully his recovery went well and he was able to resume his daily life without any physical disturbance. Even after he was released, however, Yagen kept visiting him on regular basis and he went as far as to ask permission from the eldest brother, Kousetsu, that he wished to go out with Souza. The pink hair still remembered how his brother reacted at that time; he simply laughed at Yagen for asking something so obvious.

 _["I thought you were already going out."]_

…was what he said. Nevertheless, Yagen himself was very busy with the chains of business he ran together with his brothers, so it wasn't like they could meet every single day. Thus they made it a habit that Souza would spend Friday and Saturday in his place, and returned him to his family on Sunday. There were times when Yagen brought him on a trip, also inviting Kousetsu and Sayo once in awhile. Generally speaking, Souza couldn't be more than happy that his life was taking a turn for the better, but there was one thing that kept bothering him ever since he was released from the hospital.

It wasn't exactly a problem. He wouldn't say he was disturbed either, and yet still Souza couldn't think of any reason no matter how hard he thought and pondered about it.

In all these months they'd spent together, never once did Yagen touch him.

* * *

"Souza, are you still looking for a new job?"

"Eh?" the pink hair turned his gaze at that question. He was making two cups of coffee for the both of them, while the other man was sitting on the couch with the television turned on. "Yes, I'm still looking."

"How did I go?" slightly looking back over his shoulder, Yagen continued his question.

"I have attended several interviews," Souza came over, bringing the two cups to the couch as he settled next to his lover. "But I'm still waiting for updates from them, so I can't say whether I have been accepted or not. Is something the matter?"

"Well, I thought you might want to give a try at Ichi- _nii_ 's place," replied Yagen as he received the cup handed to him and took a sip.

"Ichi…nii…? Ichigo Hitofuri?"

"Yes. You remember him," the black hair smiled happily, "Ichi-nii will open a new café soon and he needs some people to help him with that. If you're interested to try it out, I will let him know."

"O-Of course!" said Souza with his eyes going wide in excitement. However, in the next second he leaned back at the couch with a slightly clouded expression on his face. "But... I kind of feel bad about it."

"Why?"

"D-Does Ichigo-san…remember me?"

At first, Yagen stared at his lover in confusion, but upon seeing the troubled look reflected in those green and blue eyes, he seemed to understand what he meant and chuckled.

"Don't worry about it. Ichi-nii does remember you, but it's not like you're going to come in through the back door or anything," replied him, "He might look like that, but Ichi-nii is always professional when it comes to things like this. He treats everyone fairly."

"That's relieving…" finally the pink hair smiled as he let out a long breath, "Then, I will try applying to his new café. Thank you very much, Yagen."

"Don't I get a reward for my effort?"

He leaned in towards his lover with a mischievous smile. Knowing very well what the black hair meant by a "reward", Souza couldn't help but burst out laughing at such obvious request. He put his coffee cup on the table in front of them and, letting out a sigh once again, he looked back at Yagen with a smile.

"Alright, alright. I get it. Thank you very much for your help, Yagen," said him while shifting himself forward, gently kissing the man in front of him on the lips. It tasted bitter like the coffee they'd just drank together, but the happy face Yagen showed afterwards made him forgot about it in an instant.

 _"No matter how big he has grown, he still looks very cute like this."_

As Souza kept that thought to himself, the black hair pulled him close and rested his chin on top of his head. They were so close that he could almost hear the sound of the other's heartbeat only a small distance away from his. Unconsciously, the color of red began to dye his cheeks.

"Souza…" Yagen called in a low voice, "Do you have any place you want to go to today?"

"Hmm? Not particularly," replied the pink hair as he looked up, "I mean, wouldn't you prefer to rest at home today? You've been especially busy this week."

"That's so thoughtful of you. You will be a good wife," still hugging his lover in his arms, Yagen rubbed his face on the other's hair, "Souza, let's get married."

To his words, Souza couldn't even find the words to respond as he burst out into a fit of laughter once again. The black hair seemed to be frowning at first, but eventually he casted a loving gaze at him and smiled.

"You've been laughing a lot recently," he said while leaning back to his seat.

"…? What do you mean?"

"No… I just… I can't really put it into words, but the first time I met you, to me it looked like you were being restrained from expressing yourself clearly. You seem a lot more cheerful these days, so that's good."

"…Really…?" Souza let his voice trailed off into the distance as he slightly hung his head down. Nevertheless, a subtle smile was soon drawn on his face as he rested himself on the other's shoulder. "I suppose it's thanks to my brothers…and to you…"

"Me? What did I do?"

"I can't really put it into words, too," Souza let out a soft laugh deliberately. He could sense a brief bewilderment coming from Yagen, but even that soon disappeared as he felt himself being pulled into that warm embrace again.

"If you're happy, then I'm happy," the black hair whispered, "Though… I still can't forgive myself for hurting you that night. I'm sorry, Souza…"

"There is nothing to forgive," shaking his head, Souza touched his lover's arm, "It was only normal for you to be furious. I was lying to you."

"No, you don't understand," Yagen laughed bitterly, "I wasn't angry at you. I was angry at the people who had stained your body. When I found out that you had been working there, I could only see red and I took it out on you. I should've… At the very least, I should've listened to your part of the story first before making assumptions and lost myself because of it."

His voice was dyed with regret, so heavily dyed with regret that Souza couldn't find any words to reply to him. No matter how many times he tried telling him that it wasn't his fault alone, Yagen never listened. What should he do to make this man finally feel at ease? What should he say so this man would understand that he shouldn't keep blaming himself? With these thoughts clouding his mind, Souza rose and wrapped his arms around the other's neck, hugging him tight as he buried his face on that broad shoulder.

"Souza…?"

The pink hair said nothing in return. If words couldn't reach him, perhaps through action he could convey his feelings. For a brief moment, they remained in silence until Yagen eventually circled his arms around Souza's slender waist, letting out a sigh.

"Do you know…what actually made me very furious that day?"

"…?"

"I thought… Your first time…could be with one of those men…"

An unpleasant recollection floated to the back of his mind when Souza heard those words. Indeed, Yagen was right. His first time…was really with one of the patrons who paid for his service through that place.

"...You weren't wrong," gulping down his doubt, eventually the pink hair decided to speak, "I had never done it with anyone else when I first applied to work there."

"…How…was it…?"

Souza could feel the arms embracing his body grew tense. He was unable to see Yagen's face, but he was sure his expression right now must be far from pleased. Nevertheless, he didn't let go of that man and continued his story.

"It was terrifying. I was really scared," replied him, "The customer was informed that it was my first time and he took his time preparing me. He wasn't a particularly good or bad person, but… Perhaps I was too scared to think about anything."

"Did you cry…Souza?"

"…I did."

At this point there was no more need to hide anything, but even if he knew that very well, Souza couldn't help but worry if Yagen would be mad again. He thought this man's silence was a sign that he was trying to calm himself down from a building rage, however, what he did afterwards was to release Souza from his embrace. Gently, he put his hands on those delicate shoulders and pushed him away as he gazed into that pair of heterochromatic eyes.

"As I thought, it's no good," he mumbled in a small voice, "I shouldn't be near you. At this rate, I might end up repeating the same mistake again."

"Mistake?"

"I thought if we stay like this, everything would be good. But I was wrong," the black hair smiled bitterly, "No matter how hard I tried to hold myself back, in my head I can't stop thinking from doing all sorts of unimaginably dirty things to you. I can never let that happen again."

"What do you mean, Yagen? I don't understand."

"I have touched you two times…" with a painful laugh, Yagen slightly averted his gaze, "And in both occasions you always ended up crying. I promised to protect you, but what good would it be if I can't even protect you from myself?"

Souza was taken aback by those words. Was that how this man had always thought of it? He silently scolded himself for remaining silent all this time without realizing that Yagen was in pain while mulling over those times. But at the same time, somewhere in his heart Souza felt relieved.

"Yagen…"

To his call, the black hair looked back at him; his grayish purple eyes clearly reflecting confusion and guilt altogether. Souza smiled at the look he was having, and without saying another word, he cupped his lover's face in his hands and leaned in to give him a gentle kiss. Obviously, Yagen didn't expect he would do something like this as his eyes went wide.

"What…are you doing?"

"It looks like we have misunderstood each other," the pink hair shrugged his shoulders, still wearing the same smile, "I wished I had been more honest with you back then. If I did, you wouldn't have to bear this pain all by yourself. I'm sorry, Yagen."

Feeling the same confusion still remained in the other's eyes, Souza touched his hands apologetically, slowly entwining their fingers together. Yagen didn't resist, but the pink hair could feel his gaze on him as though asking what he was doing.

"You thought…I cried because you held me like that," he said while playing with the other's fingers, "It was nothing like that. You were blaming yourself because you thought you hurt me, but at that time, I blamed myself because I allowed you to touch my body that had been dirtied by other men. You were so kind to me and you still are. That's why… That's why I couldn't forgive myself for being unable to give you what you deserve."

Looking up at the black hair, Souza slumped his shoulders while letting out a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad…" said him again, "I thought you never touched me anymore because you were disgusted at me."

"I could never—"

Yagen was unable to finish his words. At that moment, Souza had rested himself on his chest, clutching at his shirt.

"I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you," he whispered, "I'm sorry I hid things from you and hurt your feelings. The me that you are seeing now… I can no longer make you my first, but… You will be the last one for me. At least… At least I can promise you this."

It felt good to finally be able to let out the burden that had been building up in his chest, but would it be enough? Unlike Yagen, Souza knew that he had nothing else to offer to this man except devoting his entire life to him, but the way he was right now… Did he still have the right to say something like that? Would Yagen even believe such a cheap-sounding promise?

"…Is it…alright?"

Souza's shoulders twitched at the low voice whispering into his ears. Squeezing at the thin fingers entwining with his, Yagen rubbed his face against Souza's hair again. His voice was full of doubt, but at the same time Souza could tell there was also a tint of hope. It was almost as if he was a child who was trying to make sure if he got permission to do something, and to this attitude, the pink hair was unable to hold back his smile.

"Of course it's alright," drawing himself back, he spread both of his hands, signaling the other man to come to him, "You can do anything to me. I belong to you, Yagen."

Traces of hesitation were still visible when the black hair held out his hand, touching the side of Souza's face. It felt as though he was caressing his cheek, but also afraid to touch him at the same time. However, in the next second Souza could see him frowning before Yagen lunged at him, abruptly sealing his lips with his own. It was so sudden that Souza was caught by surprise even though he had expected something like this to happen.

 _"I can't…breathe—!"_

The bitter taste of the coffee was still there. Clutching at the other man's arms, Souza found himself powerless against the tremendous strength Yagen was using to hold him. It was just like that time in the brothel; all he could do was to resign himself to this man's desperation. However, now he knew that Yagen never had any intention to hurt him. If anything, even though he was reluctant to admit it, Souza felt so happy that Yagen wanted him so much like this.

Because this was the only thing he could give to this man.

"Not fair…" muttered Yagen between their kisses, "Saying that kind of thing with that face… It's not fair…"

"Mmph— Nnngh!"

He hadn't even been able to properly take in some air when Souza felt his clothes being forcefully stripped open. The cold sensation of Yagen's hands touching his skin directly was more than enough to make his body jolted and shivered all over. Was it because he hadn't done this sort of thing for a long time? It was an unpleasant thing to recall, but even though he might have grown sensitive over the past years he spent working in that place, it was never this much. Yagen hadn't done anything else aside of caressing him, but Souza found himself already nearing his limit.

"…You know, I haven't even touched you here," finally releasing his lover from the suffocating kiss, Yagen purposely grazed his fingers against the hard member between the other's legs, causing the pink hair to tense up as he stifled his moan. Souza could feel a wave of embarrassment rushing to his face when Yagen pulled down his briefs, making that part exposed under the light. Inadvertently, he looked away and shut his mouth with both hands, but apparently it didn't make the other man stopped.

"…?! W-What are you…?"

"The walls here are pretty sturdy, so you don't have to worry about my neighbors hearing your voice," replied the black hair while holding both of Souza's arms. There was a possibility that he really hadn't realized the reason why Souza was closing his mouth back then, but either way, the pink hair was pretty sure he did this on purpose.

"Nnnn!"

Again, he found himself powerless against the other man. Having both of his arms pinned above his head, all he could do in the end was to stubbornly averted his gaze and bit his own lips while resigning himself to whatever Yagen wanted to do to him. He felt his warm tongue sliding down the line of his neck and collarbone, but after awhile the black hair suddenly stopped and released him.

"Well, there's no helping it if you're really that shy," he said in a suspicious tone, "I suppose we'll just do it like this."

"St— Yagen, wai—"

Souza hadn't even finished what he wanted to say when Yagen suddenly pulled him up, made him sit on his lap while facing the TV. He was totally caught by surprise, but even that too was soon replaced by an even bigger embarrassment.

"Does it feel better now?" the black hair asked, resting his chin on Souza's shoulder while circling his arms around that slender waist. As he said this, Souza could feel one of his hands travelled down to his thighs, beginning to slowly stroke that particular part.

"Ah— Wai-Wait... Not…like this…"

It would be a very absurd thing to say, but in this position, it felt like those people in the TV were now watching him instead and Souza felt unreasonably ashamed upon realizing that.

"No? Then how do you want it?" brushing those pink-colored flocks to the front, Souza's back was now completely exposed as Yagen began to shower that part with kisses after kisses. Using his free hand, he caressed the other's chest and fondled with his nipples, inviting more and more of those sweet cries to leave his lover's tender lips.

 _"I don't…want this… Not just me…"_

By this time, it was almost useless for Souza to do anything. Curling his body did not make the pleasure stopped. Instead, whenever he attempted to break free, Yagen always rubbed and pressed the tip of his member deliberately that he ended up falling back into his arms. Every part of his body had practically stopped listening to whatever his head was telling them to do. At last, with the remaining consciousness he could still gather, Souza tried to turn around.

"…? What is it, Souza?"

The black hair asked in wonder, but Souza was unable to form any words to answer him. If he opened his mouth, he was sure what came out would be nothing more than incomprehensible moans and breathless sighs. Still, eventually he managed to straddle him before throwing himself onto Yagen's chest, looking up at him with feverish eyes.

"That's why I ask you, what is it?" with his cheeks beginning to turn red, Yagen tried to look away.

But the pink hair did not stop there and rose to wrap his arms around the other's neck; this time to initiate the kiss by himself.

"…?!"

"…Hurry…" with a faint voice, he whispered into the other's ears, "Yagen, hurry…"

There was no reply. Souza thought he could hear the black hair clicking his tongue and in the next second, it was his turn to be pulled into a kiss; much stronger and more passionate than before. As he clung onto him, he felt Yagen's hand now travelled down his back, finding the small opening where he then slowly pushed in his long, thin fingers.

"Nnngh— It…hurts—!"

"Sorry," the black hair replied in a restrained voice, "But it's your fault for stirring me up. Don't blame me if something happens."

Souza could feel his body tensing up. It was different from the pleasure he got when Yagen was touching him all over. It really had been awhile, so even if he was used to this sort of treatment, he knew at least the beginning would be painful.

But even so… He didn't care anymore…

"Hurry…Yagen…" burying his face on the other man's shoulder, he whispered those words again, "Hurry…Please…"

The movement of the fingers inside him stopped. It seemed that Yagen was still in doubt, but as he kept urging him, eventually the black hair pulled out his fingers. In its place, a familiar heat was pushed right into him.

"A—Aah! Ahh, Y-Yagen—Uwaaah!"

"—Tsk… I'm…in…"

The both of them were equally gasping for breath. Not knowing what he was supposed to do with the immense pressure building up in the pit of his stomach, Souza could only clutched at the man before him until he nearly clawed into his skin. Had he really lost his mind just now, he might've already bitten into him.

"Souza… Are you crying?"

The black hair wiped the warm drops that had begun to form in the corners of those green and blue eyes. Even Souza himself was not aware of it, but recalling what Yagen said before, he quickly shook his head.

"I'm… I'm okay…" he stuttered, "Hurry… Move…"

"Really, you…" letting out a long sigh, Yagen began to rub at the part between his lover's thighs. It had become a bit soft, perhaps because of the pain, but as he slowly stimulated him there, he noticed that the pink hair was gradually becoming used to it. His face was no longer contorted in agony and his short breathings beginning to alternate with sweet moans. "So… I'm gonna move…okay?"

Souza said nothing in response, but simply gave him a small nod. When Yagen began to thrust into him, uncontrollable cries escaped his lips as he arched his back, tightening on the other man at the same time. Nevertheless, although he was in a similarly desperate situation, Yagen pulled that delicate body into his arms and kissed him gently. Once… Twice… On his lips, neck and shoulders… He showered him with countless loving kisses as if trying to soothe him from the pain.

Despite everything that had happened, despite already knowing the ugly truth he'd been hiding, still Yagen treated him so carefully like a precious jewel.

"Yagen…" with a restrained voice, Souza called out to him. As his lover looked up at him, he brushed the sweaty bangs of that jet black hair and kissed his forehead. "Yagen… Thank you…for everything. I love you…"

Those grayish purple eyes went wide for an instant. However, Yagen returned his words with a smile as he caressed the side of his face.

"I love you, too, Souza. I'll always be with you."

He took his lover's hand into his, kissing the back of his hand. When their eyes met each other's again afterwards, the both of them let out a chuckle as they softly bumped their foreheads together. Holding the slender body in his arms, Yagen touched the tip of his nose into Souza's cheek as he slightly parted his lips.

And in a low voice, he whispered the promise he'd made to his most beloved person; the promise he'd sword since hundreds of years ago.

 ** _"Whatever happens, I will protect you…"_**


End file.
